Category: Poems


Breathe, Just Breathe

I’ll meet you there

Somewhere in the wind

Breathe me in

Sigh

Relax

Time and distance

Are illusions anyways

Appreciate the storm

And the calm it brought

To the seas

We are sailing on

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Babe

You belong together

You both share a

Complete lack of empathy

Don’t care who you hurt

In the search for self gratification

You only wanted me for a trophy

Cause I’m not easy

I’m impossible

You never knew me

We both loved a fantasy

I never had wandering eyes

Until you betrayed me

I’ll never forget the shock

Through my whole body

When I saw what you did

Really, secret dances?

Sending hearts

Singing love lyrics

Sneaky glances

That I used to be at the end of

Tell me I’m not justified

Go ahead

I know you’re still doing it

Thanks to friends

Telling me

I’m right

The only reason I think of you

Is to try to figure out

how a person could be that selfish

And mean and deceitful

I pity any girl that falls for you

For Chris

How this story ends isn’t fair

You gave me wings in my darkest days

How can you grow more beautiful now

Suicidal thoughts

When I had them

You echoed me

Embraced them

gave me clarity

To feel life

I owe you mine

A million times over

Now that your gone

Your radiance has spread and

shines so brightly through my tears

* I’ve had this card since I was like 6 years old…. I cried for a very long time when he left us… I wrote this May 19, 2017

Gratitude

It feels like a spell is broken

I remember finding out

This was nothing new to him

Feeling so low and worthless

Black rain falling in my heart

But I couldn’t escape

Now it feels like prayers being answered

Content happiness fills me

It’s like my fairy elf gnome leprechaun friends

Returned from the 5th dimension

To guide me out of this abyss

Into Spring, renewal and rebirth

The rain has made everything clear

I feel weightless and clean

midsummer-eve-edward-robert-hughes

bad blood

February, 19

The smell of death still lingers

I can see the past clearly now

But I still don’t know what or who you are

And you know the answer is “no”

Something has changed

The feelings I had are gone

I can’t win this battle

Don’t regret, I was only a toy

Just a practice heart

That you tried to destroy

 

You can sense it can’t you?

Death, it’s all around us…

But I’ll be reborn,

Spring will renew my love.

 

(Everyone knows alright,

They are gonna know

What a jerk you are.

And no one will trust you,

They’ll feel sorry for me

And help me get my R-E-V-E-N-G-E)

 

 

January, 4

All I can love is my own sadness

Thought those hearts were you and me

But they are me and her

Why should I bother

Losers don’t compete

I give up the fight

I’m tired

You’d throw away my love

For a sweet face

I knew I was worthless

My whole life that’s all I was told

You didn’t give me true love

Only validation for my fears

Validation of the hate I’ve been dealt

She’s still fighting for you

But I’m just sad alone hurt and confused

Why did you come after me?

When you still love her…

 clean

December, 13

The Colors of Our Love

Free thought painted over

A world run by greed

Not allowed to gather together

Be happy, share ideas

Anarchy suppressed

Oppression rules our minds

And life goes on unaware of it’s potential

 

And… you fall for it

The trap

You’re owned, guarded

Love suppressed

For the sake of greed

And others delusions, kept intact

Ask yourself, for what?

Are lies worth it?

Your life is worth what?

Love is worth what?

And when will the colors of our love

Be washed over with white paint….

 

November, 8

Dripping Honey in the Acid of my Mind

Never know who’s on your mind

While we make love

You broke me

My heart is empty

 

I’m drunk with anticipation

Knowing you won’t call

But I stay anyways

And…

I realized all this time

I’m the one who wanted

To fall out of love

 

Why did you have to do this?

I didn’t ask for it

You knew you’d never some

Even though you said…

You would…

 trouble

October, 24

Lost in my web of dreams

And I still feel pain

When I know you won’t come

Sometimes I want you to leave me alone

I was fine before you came along

And I’m frightened…

This love is too good

How can something this perfect

Last Forever?

 

I want you to come hold me,

I’m cold.

But I only feel my cold tears

That won’t come,

Welling up inside me.

Like a million lifetimes of suffering,

Begging to be released.

 

 

October, 14

I wake up each morning

With my heart broken

Through my nightmares

My inexhaustible fears

I know you won’t care of my overflow of tears

 

You have millions

I only have you

I stay alone

You hear their cheers

Breathe them in

Live for me

It doesn’t matter

If I live love or die

 begin again

September, 25

I feel so disposable

Lady Lazarus

I just want to die

All my life

It’s been this way

I try to help

But I just get so used

My heart is broke

I’m nothing to no one

Just another face in the crowd

I’m not special

I’m so dumb to trust anyone

This is officially the last time

I open up to anyone

Hope, What a joke

I’ve been hoping for too  long

I’m done

Broken so completely and utterly……

 

September, 10

Money is not power

Clothes are not power

The revolutions were orchestrated

By lies

You are only a pawn in their game

 

September, 8

The feelings I thought were mine

Are now owned by everyone

I’m so mad

Take everything

The worst happened

When I opened up

Why did I trust

This illusion

Too good to be true

You only listened so you could

STEAL

never

August, 27

The Chase

What chance does the fox have?

It gets destroyed in the end

Why do they do it?

To satisfy the vanity of the hunters

 

June, 15

I don’t need this

I’m the most unlucky girl

Always at the wrong places

Fate likes teasing me

Breaking my heart

Everytime I try to smile

It shows me I’m a fool

Still Naïve and trusting

After being thrown away

What a cruel city

To betray me like this

Just me in this empty room

The only thing I have is my cats

I don’t want to be played

My ability to trust has run dry

I stay alone with my broken heart

I’m a melancholic baby

And these wounds are too deep

For you too heal

Fly away to someone simple

Some girl who giggles all the time

That’s not me

clean2

 

Lie to me

And I’ll believe
Rotten carrots and cat puke
That’s how my night’s gone
Why did you lie
I watch movies
I listen to love songs
I’m up, then down
Why did you lie
No solution or answer
Comes to me
I didn’t ask for this
Burdened with your attentions
But why…
No answer comes still
Is this all in vain?
…… So since then I’ve learned to have no expectations, I may never see you again. 

Another Lost Dream.

The Monster in my Home

I HAD A DREAM I LET YOU GO,
OUTSIDE MY HOME.
YOU WANTED ME
DESPITE MY CONFESSION.

SO I WENT HOME ALONE,
AND INSIDE WAS A MONSTER,
MY OWN FEARS.
FEAR WON IN MY DREAM….

somewhere to run to
I’ve lost
Why can’t I hold
myself back
I never learn
this is how I get hurt
setting up for failure
reveal yourself
but you’ll end up alone
like always
I need my secrets
but I’m too honest
I always show them where
it hurts most
where to throw their stones
trusting little lamb

Dream Tiger

  • ice_princess_by_selenada-d7zn51w

Because of the words you wrote

I can never be sad.
It’s still hard
Not having you here.
I can’t show you my pain
Anymore.
It’s not fair.
Now that you’ve told me you’re here.
But somehow it’s not enough.
I know your not playing any games.
But old wounds
Make me afraid.
I can’t erase my past
Never thinking I’m good enough.
This is so hard.
I can’t tell you who I am.
I don’t deserve something so sweet.
I don’t deserve you.
Your perfect in my eyes,
It makes me ache with desire
To love you and protect you.
I didn’t plan for this.
It can look insincere from the outside,
But I swear my love is real.
Your stare,
A shock through me.
Your voice,
Makes me tremble.
Up all night,
Your words
Running round in my head.
I mean it when I said,
“I’d wait all eternity for your kiss”,
And I’d still love you
Even if you hated me.

I must be going crazy…

ryan_heidi_06

Superflat Mendacious Art

Can they speak for themselves
Or do they have wires on their mouths?
These are my scary little thoughts
Rolling around my head.
I don’t mean to offend.
I’m so in love
It makes me sick.
Hurt, hurt,
Nauseating hurt.
The machine devours human hearts,
expels commodities
for thoughtless masses.
The male genius
a fucking hypocrite.
Superflat affectation.
The woman artist
Perpetually
THE OTHER.
Our voice,
What fucking Voice?
Moral: “When Art  becomes a mass produced nonentity, It’s the end for all creative cognition amongst humanity”
$$$$

DisEnchanted

You little pest
Hold your breath
please be my guest
I’m sick of your tests
I just want to be at rest
I’ll continue my quest
At your jests
I’m unimpressed
without you I’m blessed
my passion awakes in my breast
Of your charm I’m dispossessed
rip up my princess dress
Fly free from your nest
Of ghoulish depressed
deprived of their best
I am self-possessed
No longer obsessed

steampunk-girls-12

Dark Reflections

“Think she’ll kill herself today?
Shall we watch?
That girl is a train wreck!”
You bring me here, out of myself
I dive into the surroundings
And bring forth
Words cut by silence.
This distance protects our egos.
Play games to avoid intimacy.
Lies and more lies.
A wandering stranger with a familiar scent.
I’ll light the black candles,
and banish this darkness.

girls candles

A STRANGER IN A PLASTIC LAND

You can be a rebel as long as you don’t rebel,
Stay quite,
Squint your eyes and try to destroy me, huh?
Artists recognized and crushed, shaved and eaten whole
Analyzed, broken into science, a formula to teach
And cut open to remove the heart.
Put on display, exhibited in museums,
Sold on buttons,
Repeat their words, actions
And the vampires are released to suck OUT your soul.
WELL I’M NOT GOING TO ASK YOU TO EXCUSE MY EYELINER
I’M NOT GOING TO BE YOU
BURN YOUR BARBIE DOLLS, YOU PLASTIC FREAK
I’M AN ALIEN, A STRANGER IN A PLASTIC LAND
Nevermind, Put my lipstick on display and giggle
Nevermind, you make me immortal for those who seek me
Never ever mind you

bowie-tvs

Dying Fish Tv Love

I saw a dying fish on a parking lot pavement
The little thing was struggling to breath
I thought how horrible that would be
So I picked it up and
having no water, put in my soda pop
to my surprise the fish
could breath in my soda pop
So I took the little fish home
and watched some TV
The show I watched had
colorful sets and costumes
this was the last episode of the season
So they had a contest for the fans,
to win all sorts of glittery personalized goodies
handmade by the stars
I thought, “that’s nice of them”
So I turned off the tellie
and went to the shops
It was christmas time
and all the shops were full of toys
I walked down one isle and
there were discarded boxes
with the a high school class’s
graffiti painted on them
I thought, I will buy these
and keep them empty
cause this is the year
my favorite tv show ended

fish

on with the horns
and off with the show
make up melting in the rain
times up, game over
ugly cracked painted façade
unmasked, revealed, now a joke
punchlines so fun
hit me in the gut
memories lie wasted

bono

Elusive Joy

Some people have no clue how
To get high
Without drugs or alcohol.
Its called joy.
And you can’t buy it in any store.
You can’t steal it out of spite.
You have to earn it.
Through following your heart.
If you have one that is.
If you haven’t destroyed it
With cruel selfish acts
And all your left with
Is a black empty shell.
cause its hip,
So hip and cool,
To be an alcoholic,
To get inebriated.
So go be fly,
With your sad pathetic self.
I’ll be over here
Enjoying myself.
Don’t try to bring me down
With your jealous words,
I see who you are!!

02pjharvey11ap0772061

All the things I’m afraid of writing in my diary
All the things I’ve been taught are wrong
All the things written in police reports
Cold hard facts of hatred
But my dreams contain these horrors
And I’m forbidden to write them
Forbidden to show them
Forbidden to say them
But they happen
Yet it’s not appropriate for the community
Reality is not good for the community
Only fairy tales
Can’t even say the words
The words women fear most
But we’re called them
They happen to us
But it’s inappropriate for the community
To express your feelings on them

dixie-chicks-09

Shiny Illusions Of Hope

Do you want me to kill myself?
My head in the toilet,
Another desolate broken songbird.
All this time
That’s what you’ve been wanting.
So tragic and romantic!
You can be sad,
Finally have a reason to love me!
Say you miss me,
But I’ve run far away,
Chasing freedom,
Her white gown eluding my grasp
Fades into the mist.
You want to destroy me!!
Come back, come back!
We’re not done with you!
Your trying to live,
We want you dead.
Here’s some pills.
You feel that pain?
Kill it with them.
You can do nothing,
Nothing ever good.
Tempt me with promises,
Promises of care.
Bent and twisted lies,
Shiny illusions of hope.
Watch my tender heart
Turn cold.
Drown myself in darkness.
Can I never escape?

Edie6

Magnificent Dawn

Love is a cheap word

when it comes to you.

I ate an image,

Not even food.

I found God in you,

I’ve been revived.

Insecurity, second guessing,

Vanish with your convictions.

My thoughts in your mouth,

Astonish me.

Never knew I would find you,

The sun rises again,

After a gloomy night.

You are my dawn,

Magnificent.

3754983872_faf564f75f_z

A Whore’s Freedom

red lipstick above her mustache
working for the man
a sardonic smile
I look above and around him
holding on to all the moments of brightness
morning air, church flowers, ducks in the lake
you cant take credit for my achievments
my strength is my own
a whore’s freedom

pjharvey-2