Category: Random Ramblings (Free Writing)


I’m sitting in a Jewel Grocery store parking lot waiting for my boyfriend. So I decided to do a sort of diary entry to pass the time. Which I never do, so here goes: Right now, in life, I’m trying to figure out what I want to study when I go back to college. God, it’s so difficult to think about higher education when your from middle class suburbia. So much of this class is filled with working class people who slave away for some corporation. Going to college for Art and learning to think critically while your there is not a friendly idea to these types. All they care about is competing with their neighbors over material items and watching sports games. Competition is King. This place makes me sick. There seems to be no way out, and unless you have aspirations for a career that is middle class conservative Fox News Channel friendly, your looked down upon. Suburban thought is very attune to T.V. propaganda. These people seem to live their lives by American Sitcom standards. It’s really quite scary to be surrounded by such people. If you don’t watch T.V. and tend to think for yourself, they know just by looking at you. They stare you down, like their rabid zombies that want to eat out your brain. Suburbia is very much like zombie-land, only with white picket fences and Supermarkets. Take today for instance , everyone in the Chicago suburbs is preparing for a Black-Hawks Hockey playoffs game. They only give a damn because they are winning. The proof is in the fact that a few years ago hockey was so unpopular they almost had to shut the league down. No one gave a damn about the Black-Hawks. But now cause they are winning and being hyped up all over the media, everyone is a fan. Weird. Brain dead zombies that follow the commands of the almighty T.V. and when they get done at the grocery store shopping for party supplies, they will sit in front of the telly for 4 or 5 hours and zone out on some distant happenings that they will pretend to like, so they can talk about it with co-workers tomorrow. Lame.

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changed destroyed grown up mature forgotten hurt unwanted christmas spoil those who are wanted hate those unsuccessful fitting out crush their spirit destroy them be happy make fun of forget pity hate love is dead crush destroy demolish love kids hate siblings ignore and forget the past you were never there with them you were never struggling you forgot how you got were you are slaves make them die it would be best for all kittens abandoned in the cold for clean carpets forget jesus get gifts for only those worthy hate hate hate them outcast them pressure them to conform society tells us what to do forget our past drink beer with those who beat you as children those who remember are immature those who hurt are insecure those who think are communists those who question are conspiracists shut up and do as I say now don’t think be numb be a machine feed the machine don’t make art that makes us remember our feelings our innermost doubts fears and painful past we left ourselves behind so you should sell out give up wash your brain with bleach and fill it with tv you’re not good enough or worthy of us until you do fuck you we hate you hide your weird you are not an artist you are stupid you can do nothing in life that is good be a slave to the machine be successful

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I Dont know what to do I feel like giving up. I have talked honestly about how I feel about our current capitalistic society and the effects of blindly consuming products, but apparently I’m a preachy, high and mighty Malcolm X crazy person.  If a person desires something you better get out of their way or else. Don’t try to reach them with logical arguments or you will get shoved roughly aside and be told to stop being such an a-hole. It doesn’t matter if you where just trying to tell them how much better it would be for the future if they choose organic products over sugar snacks. Look they know they don’t need it, that they want it. So what, stop being such a jerk. Of course you have tons of reasons why to buy organic, but who cares! They where choosing on taste not ecological sustainability, who chooses cereal based on that? So how exactly are you supposed to argue someone when they tell you that they know that they desire their sugar puffs? Whats the point? When you tell someone that double bacon cheese burger is bad for your health and the cows and pigs killed for it stood knee deep in their own shit all day and ate the slaughtered remains of their brothers and sisters; but they just reply “I know but its tastes sooo good” How do you argue with that? With ignorance and blind desire? Answer: you can’t. There’s nothing I can do and I feel utterly hopeless. …. Anyone out there have any suggestions? Any help??