Tag Archive: astrology

I’ve been through a period of soul testing according to my natal chart. All astrologers say that time period, is the worst period of soul testing for everybody. I always thought when I read about it, there would be some specific decision to be made and I was afraid of making the wrong one. All some astrologers would say is that it is a period of “meeting self”… now I realize what they meant was that you keep faith in yourself, that you WILL make the right decision and that a higher source will guide you. It’s like Job, I guess… really all I did was ask why I had to go through this? But I never lost faith that something good would come out of enduring all that pain…

I don’t have answers, but I ask and receive messages and try to interpret them.

Last night: Dream about diamonds, explaining they reflect a pure white light, whereas, crystals reflect a rainbow and the better the diamond the clearer the light they give off. So when someone proposes with a ring, you know how sincere they are by how clear the diamond shines…. then I look back at you and feel deep deep and we go to leave, but I pick up a white dress that’s hanging and stain it in some red wine and I wonder why I care when I’m already wearing a white dress that is shorter and cuter… I want to say to everyone else who is upset that it doesn’t matter just throw it away… then I wake up




Pluto leave me alone
bringing me back to my past
I’ve burst into flames
from the pain
now I’m nothing but ashes
I don’t know
how to rise from them
stuck in my adolescence
immobilized by foolish desires
can’t leave them behind
my heart is cracked
no ones fault but mine
you give me no direction
what can I do, to be new?


Without Your Love

my love is forever
yours is ever-burning
you have it all
I receive it
my oxygen
but you cut it off
just to see me choke
forever receptive
I need this
just like
the moon
reflects the sun
without it’s light
it’s just another empty black hole


The Hole in Me

all i ever wanted to do was stab a knife in your neck.
Leave a hole in you like you left in me.
i hate you.
i want him.
i want the love i never had.
but i despise it.
i can never be satisfied
that hole will always be there.
as i stand here dripping wet,
i realize now even his most sincere love will never be enough
i want to devour him, destroy him, like you did me.
no i love him, i want to protect him, from you,
from my projections.
he’s innocent or guilty?
i dont want him, i need him
to annihilate me through our desire,
only through this death can i be free.
Pluto, you bastard, this is not fun.


The Secret of Eternity

tick tock tick tock

 the clock hand moves

around a circle.

 time is a circle.

tick tock the clock moves in a circle.

A circle?

 time is measured by a circle?

tick tock tick tock

the clock goes

tick tock

in a circle.


I Give You My Blood

I’m a blank canvas fill me.

Feel me with red.

Your music is my soul.

Lets not be fake, like all the others.

 I feel us coming together soon.

The movements of the stars ordain it.

Can you feel it?

We will blend together and live in the stars.

I can’t say the exploding love inside me.

It’s a ancient little secret.

Between you and me.

Your sweat, I lose my mind.

Control me.

You angel tempter.

I am Yours.

Billy Corgan Is In A Cult

Have you ever watched youtube videos of live Smashing Pumpkins in the Adore era? In the midst of watching the three remaining original band members and all their hotness, the camera pans over to the drummer…… and your mind says “what the fuck?” Who the hell does this crazy happy bald Billy want to be freak of nature think he is? I mean seriously, you can’t deny it, you know your mind goes there. Wait did I say the drummer, I meant out of the five or so that they had live, that friggen sports jacket coordinated orange sunglass wearing shiny baldheaded sweaty butt munch. That guy almost ruins the whole performance for me. I think Billy only picked him cause he wanted some bald company and probably some tips from the professional bald guy of how to keep is head shiny and squeaky clean. Seriously that guy must use Mr. Clean on his head as a polish. I saw this one youtube video of Billy joking that he didn’t want to be in “the fucking bald guy club.” But we all know the truth, he can’t hide it. The Bald Guy Club is a secret society like the free masons, dedicated to the preservation of respectable baldheaded representation and solicitation. He is obviously a prominent member who was initiated when he became a top selling artist… Billy was simply trying to pull a Neptune fast one on us, damn sneaky Pisces. I’m sure he has a gold plaque to commemorate his earning of highest initiation on his bedroom wall above his altar to almighty baldness. (Billy if your reading this I’m just joking, I know your sense of humor is sometimes lacking, I mean not to say you don’t have one, your awesome and everyone that is cool loves you, and It’s just that you know your opposing sun and ascendant make you a hard one to predict, then there’s all that Aries in you Mars and Venus, and Aries being in your eighth house, which must make you have an aggressive impulsive nature mixed with a revengeful nature, I mean damn astrology is revealing what was I talking about?) Anyways, that bald guy during the adore era was clearly a spy from The Bald Guy Club, who was keeping an eye on Billy. They were concerned that he had gone all Goth and sad and was going have a breakdown and reveal The Bald Guy Club secrets to the world. No wonder I don’t like that bald drummer freak. Do you know anybody that is bald? Go head ask them about The Bald Guy Club, and see if you can get any strait answers. They’ll just act like your crazy, but you know the truth now.

(Billy Willy Folklore: “They say if you mention Billy’s name in your blog 7 times he will tweet about your blog”) Oh crap, I only mentioned it 6 times.